Saturday, May 20, 2006

Have I done my best today?

When I was in school, this poem was on the 3rd page of our school diary.

When I read it for the first time I was very inspired. It asked a simple question and the answer forced me to think.
I have learnt a few things today and in the past few days.

Nothing, absolutely nothing, lasts forever. Be it extreme grief or overwhelming gaiety, it leaves you after a while. But they do keep coming periodically, and thats what makes life interesting. The indeterminate time-period between them, leaves you wondering - Will it be joy or will it be woe, next?

I always thought that I couldn't focus well. Umpteen thoughts reared their ugly heads in my mind, and my concentration gave up. But surprisingly, I was wrong. There is so much one can do when one puts his mind to it. So much. To accomplish something, I always thought next to impossible, gave me a real moral boost.

I used to hate loneliness. But I changed. I learnt to enjoy my company. I like myself better now!

And from what I have learnt I believe I have done my best today!


Saturday, May 13, 2006

The Window on my right

The window is huge.
On the white wall on the right side of my desk, there is a huge window. Its a glass one and unlike other windows, this one can't be opened. You can only cover it. You can touch it but can't stretch your hands outwards through it.

So, whats so special about this window? Nothing. There is nothing extraordinary about this plain glass-pane window, but in what it makes me feel.

When I first got this desk, it was this window that made me feel better about my place. My desk was the brightest one around. Ample sunshine flooding my deskspace. It uplifted my mood immediately. It gave me a great start to my day - one filled with energy.
Sometimes when it rains, I can see the water falling merrily down through this window.

Even though I sit at my desk, I can still escape it - through this window.

The view isn't great. Concrete jungle meets the eye. But I am glad - atleast I have a view. I have seen places that have no window. Only walls and doors. No window.

Seasons come and seasons go, and my window mirrors the world outside, while I sit at my desk gazing out of it.


Saturday, May 06, 2006

City of Angeles!

I am not an angel.
When I was a kid, I had taken part in a dance performance where I had to attach false wings to my back and dance on stage. It made me feel real good. I felt like an angel - beautiful and pure. I even attempted to fly- sadly my body mass couldn't be supported. I lacked a streamlined structure and sound aerodynamics knowledge, and hence my flight resulted in a sad plight.
I learnt I couldn't fly, and that I wasn't an angel.
Like every other kid, I read fantasy fables. About a mythical land populated by gnomes, elves, fairies, angels, trolls, princes and princesses. Lovely land and quitoxic tales. Such places don't exist. But there is a place which is called the City of Angeles. Los Angeles.
When I first came here, what struck me was the beauty. Clean, neat and green. Even the sky seemed a shade bluer! The climate wonderful, thanks to the Pacific Ocean right nearby. The beaches filled with white sand. Santa Monica beach and Venice Beach - the only two beaches that I have been to.
Compared to mountains I always liked oceans. Why? It gave me a sense of expansiveness. Ocean were more down to earth, and mountains high above - away from the land. Oceans seemed to have the ability to take in whatever you threw at it.Oceans taught me to forgive, accept whatever came your way and still feel good. Life was too huge to waste time on petty things. It gave me tranquility.
Coming back to Los Angeles - its a beautiful city. This place is a melting pot of cultures from all over the world. Along its roads are restraunts that cater to every cuisine known to man, unless you are taking about Adivasis of Andaman! I haven't seen so many complexion and colours in any one place. I haven't heard so many languages spoken at a given square area of land!
Chinese, Cuban, Mexican, German, Italian, Greek, Indonesian, French, German, Iranian, Spanish,Thai, our very own Indian and many more. I had the good fortune of trying out many of the above mentioned cuisines. I learnt some Chinese and practised it on unsuspecting Chinese, who were taken aback - more because of my incorrect usage than my knowledge!
People here wear very colourful clothes. Maybe because everyone feels like a star. Hollywood is nearby - maybe that influences the attire. And I find people smiling at strangers here - something that you would look upon with suspicion in India. But here its just courtesy...spreading a little warmth.

Once on a rainy day, while I was walking with an umbrella, I suddenly felt happy. Why? Something struck me. I was in Los Angeles - the city of Angeles, where angels are meant to dwell. So.....shouldn't that make me one too?


Thursday, May 04, 2006

Influence of Influenza!

I have cold.
Nothing new, considering that too much ice-cream consumption, and too little protection in cold, chilly nights can lead to such a condition. The point is not that. The point is, how much this influenza thingy is affecting me.
Its affecting my body, 'coz I do feel a little weak, my nose is running and am running around with tissues wherever I go. Besides that, the cold has laid its claim on my mind too. I feel depressed and sad. Whenever I get a cold, the feeling of being utterly useless comes creeping back to me. Instead of saying, "Buck up Meenu, you can do it", the cold makes me say, "Uh well! You know you are no good. Why don't you just give up?" Its a ongoing battle between
me-the-would-be-useful and me-the-good-for-nothing. Right now, the chances of the latter winning is supreme.

When I was a kiddo and I had cold, all I had to do was sneeze, and voila! my mom would come rushing to me and take me in her arms and give tight slap!
"How in the heaven's name did you get it?"
I knew how, but after one slap, its a little silly to incite her into giving me more of them!
Then a series of recuperative measures were taken under parental supervision which made me healthy and un-sneezing in a matter of days!

Now there is no one to slap me and none to run after me to take my meds. 'Coz now I am a kid no more.

Frankly this cold thing is making me too depressed. If there is no one to take care of my cold(and I refuse to accept that responsibility!)then why do I keep getting cold?
Just like a flower dies when the gardener ceases to look after it, shouldn't the influence of influenza dimish 'coz there is no one to take care of it????

What say?

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Circuitous Circuits!

I have taken this course called Analog Circuits under professor Behzad Razavi this quarter.
One main reason for doing this course was the professor. In my undergrad years, I recall his book very well. That text book was highly recommended and I wondered then what it would be like to learn from the one who actually penned it down. So when the opportunity presented itself to me here, I grabbed it with both hands.
Before I began the class I was awed by his presence. And as I continue to attend his class, I am awed even more. He has been very friendly to suggestions from students, very open in his attitude to accept his small blunders during classroom teaching and in all, has made the course fairly easy to grasp for a person who isn't a master in circuits!
Its the current homework thats bothering me now, I am yet to finish it and its due soon! :(

My other course is also as enjoyable as this one. It deals with the future of electronics and what roadblocks we might face as we look beyond this present time. To think of solutions to problems that are yet to arise. Challenging! is the best way to describe it.